You're Hot and You're Cold

I am a hormonal emotional wreck looking for a place to happen.  It will be messy and sad and grim all at the same time.  I know it's coming so I'm avoiding public places in hopes to contain the mess.  The worst is that I know it's imminent but I also know it's unavoidable.  It's like the girl in horror movies in high heels who screams to let the monster know where she is and then runs.  Sigh ...

Memory is Tricky

Today my daughter told me sorrowfully that she couldn't remember Grandma's voice.  She could only remember when she said "Grammmmyyyy" Grandma would say "whatteeee".  So many thoughts tumbled through my brain.  So many responses:  "I know, sweetie, me too" "Memory does that"  "It doesn't mean you've forgotten Grandma".  But they all seemed so small and wrong.  So I just hugged her close and prayed. 

I Hope You Dance

Dancing babies abound in our house.  It must be something that starts in utero and then continues on the outside.  Mark, upon hearing the beat of anything, starts kicking and bopping his head.  It's no wonder he's not gaining weight at the same rate as previous babies.  He's by far the most active babe so far.  Dance baby dance!

Earnest

"Alexander, you need to close the baby gate"

"Yeth, we don't want our baby to get all dead"

12 Years Ago

12 years ago, I was preparing myself for entering into full communion with the Roman Catholic Church.  I had absolutely no idea of the graces that were to be available to me.  I still don't, although I have an inkling.  I just knew that I'd be able to receive the Eucharist.  That Christ would give Himself to me in the most humble of ways.  Even now it amazes me that He comes to me at every Mass.  And as I grow in my faith I know that communion unites me with the saints in Heaven and my brothers and sisters throughout the world.  

12 years ago I little knew what God had planned for me and my husband who joined the Church at the same time.  We didn't know that we'd find ourselves parents to 5 wonderful children.  We didn't know how much we would grow or how much more room for growth there would be.

Thank you Jesus for all of the blessings you've given us.  Create in us grateful hearts.

Suffer? Not Well.

Today is Holy Saturday.  We await our Risen Lord with hope and anticipatory joy.  But still I contemplate His sorrow and my contribution to it.  Or more accurately, my lack of contribution.  My weakness when it comes to suffering.  How do we teach our children to suffer well, when we are so awful at it?  Yesterday's Good Friday service resembled an Olympic event and I did not unite the suffering of missing most of the spoken words of the Passion with my Lord's.  I just drew my sorrow close and felt sorry myself.  For the flu that will not go away, I feel sorry for myself.  Lord, pull me close to you, I give you my sorrow, help me live in joy the suffering you are offering me.  May I see it as the gift it is.

Blessings

God is good all the time.  Even when we disagree about what is good and we can't see the gift.  In the midst of dirty diapers, screaming children, a faltering, uncertain economy He is there and we just need to exercise the muscle of Faith.