Frontiers

It is interesting to me that we present some kind of challenge. We, being our family. When we go out in public, I feel like we are a walking billboard or sideshow. I have had people I don't know from Adam defend their decision to sterilize their marriage and limit themselves to x number of children. I would never ask anyone about their fertility. I am not looking at other families and judging the number of children they have and wondering if they've had a tubal or a vasectomy. That's so personal. I don't even ask my close friends if they're "done". But I have complete strangers asking me about our plans, and explaining/justifying theirs. Obviously we don't believe in sterilization, I think it's wrong to fix something that isn't broken, but I am not going to condemn someone for doing so. But I am sometimes, uncharitably I know, drawn to wonder, what is so awful about their child(ren) that they wouldn't want anymore. Or what's so terrible about co-creating with God, or terrible about their marriage... I know, I'm so not perfect. But for these people who feel it necessary to defend/explain themselves to me out of the blue, or attack me about the size of our family, I wonder that there isn't something deeper that tells them that what they do is against God and each other. Some truth written on our very hearts, so deeply ingrained that we can't entirely shake it. That we can't give name to but it exists all the same.

Okay Baby, Anytime.

I was so sure that yesterday I was having the baby. I contracted all day with noticeable contractions. I mean these were attention getters. The naughty child of contractions. Today they have tapered off to the whiny child of contractions and only so often. I am ready. Baby's clothes are washed, the bed is up and ready, the car seat is ready to go, evacuation plans are in place and the house is in reasonable order. The only thing I haven't done yet is make it to confession. Is that the hold out? According to the little gadget to the right of my blog I have 15 days left. Sigh. God's will be done. It would be convienient if the baby waited for Halloween to be over, but whatever.

Memories

My poor blog might fall apart. 2 whole days in a row, yikes. Mostly, because standing up and doing anything else just seems like soooo much work. And I have 24 more days to go, sigh...
Justin and I and then later the children and I have been remembering things that everyone did. The kidlets think them hilarious and some of them I quite agree are just that. So here we go tripping down memory lane.
How Rebecca used to eat mustard only sandwiches.
When Rebecca age 5 came out of her room to inform her dad and me that her head was itchy, in the place where there'd be horns if she was a cow.
How Xander used to whale over the waterfalls into bed.
How PJ used to fall asleep against their bedroom door and we then would not be able to open it.
Now, how everyone is Matthew's best friend, including the picture of the model at the optometrist.
Matthew again, "A bug! A bug!"
I'm sure that there'll be more. Justin remembers these things so much better than I.

Small Successes

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1. Went to optometrist for everyone, doctor for check up for me and babe, got referral for PJ
2. Have repairman coming out tormorrow to fix the fan on my stove for baking season.
3. Have most of the children's lockers cleaned out.

Crunch Time

This is a hodge podge of stuff. (Don't you just marvel at the english language? Hodge Podge. hmm)
1. I am "large with child". Understatement I think. The looks I encounter range from disbelief to pity when people are informed that I have another 4 weeks.
2. I am frantically (well, pregnant frantic, which is kind of lumbering and disjointed, because I need to sit down) tying up the loose ends before Baby's arrival. There are many things my husband has told me will need to be undone for a while. This includes, but is not limited to: a total clean out of the laundry room, sewing pajamas for the boys, taping, mudding and painting the stairs, one more lawn mow and weeding and mulching the strawberries(the weeds will probably protect them, right?). Much of what we are doing involves me instructing a child to pick things up, because the floor might as well be in Detroit or some other exotic location these days.
3. We made a trip to the hospital yesterday which obviously was a trial run. I woke around 5 to contractions that would not go away, finally gave in and got up at 6 and by 8 they were still strong and regular. By the time we had children delivered and I was hooked up to the non-stress test, they had subsided. I'm relieved and frustrated. So apprehensive about delivery. That's one of the problems with having children so close together, you remember the pain. Also it was a good moment to remember things like undershirts and clothes for the baby. It was on the list, but way down. Really must speak to my secretary.
4. Last week the library had the official opening of the Kid's Corner dedicated to Mom's memory. Becca cut the ribbon. Poor thing looked so sad, as though she was drowning kittens or something.
5. School is School Lite right now. Just focusing on the 3 r's and there's such a freedom in that.
6. My Mac is being fixed and good golly do I miss it. But hopefully it will come home with the ability to play and eject cd's and dvd's.

North and South

Alexander: Which cupboard?
Mama: The one on the left.
Alexander: Which hand is my left?
Mama: Remember, you write with your right.
Alexander: No. I write with my North hand.

Autumn is Truly Here

The last couple of days definitely belong to Autumn. She's firmly grasped the trees and garden in her artistic hand. Every thing's painted in gorgeous colours of reds, yellows, golds and greens. I so enjoy the smell and sights of this season although it is slightly touched with melancholy these past 2 years. I wish there was some way to have the colours without the cold and frost. My garden has had the biscuit, although in all fairness, it wasn't a good summer for my garden. It was put in late and then neglected. We had a good month where we were really diligent, but then I became tired and apathetic, overwhelmed by projects in the house and the garden suffered. So today we harvested the last of the potatoes, dug up the sad little beets and carrots and I weeded the strawberries. Our rototiller died so it was a bit of a jungle I had to work my way through and I've only made it about 6 feet in, but I'll keep working at it.
This week has been full of feast days, Michaelmas (Angel food cake), St. Therese (cupcakes) and Guardian Angels (too tired to do anything, but next year I want to do angel hair pasta and wings with angel cookies HT to Minnesota Mom and Bless Us O Lord). October is so rich in feast days and instead of planning grandiose things and doing nothing, I'm focusing on simple things like reading about the saint and a theme in the meal. This seems doable at this stage in my pregnancy. There are many things that I have to limit myself on and set priorities. I think that I am getting better at this.
Mark is still scooching, although the last 2 days we've caught him standing in the middle of the floor. He's starting to sign (all food related). He's very verbal, although there's very little that's discernible. He says "hi", "thank you", "daddy", "Becca"? All in all he's very joyful. He has up to 6 teeth now and they're popping in like popcorn.
And finally we've been waiting to run out of propane so that Justin can change something on the tank. Unfortunately it happened last night, a Friday. No gas delivery until Monday and it is chilly. And there's not hot water. It is certainly making me grateful for running water. I don't have to haul it, only heat it. I'm also grateful for my dishwasher, my shower and my washer. And it goes without saying that I'm grateful for my husband and my children, and the generosity of a gracious God.