Suffering

I spent the weekend in (mostly) silence.  Silence is something I think that we could all agree there is very little of in our world.  For the most part we’re not very comfortable with it but that’s for another day’s pontificating.

I thought a lot about suffering.  Recently a friend told me that after his mom died someone said that it was God’s will.  I wish that I’d been able to give him a more satisfactory answer than “I’m sorry”.  I am sorry.  Sorry that he lost his mom all too early, sorry that someone said that to him.  People say thoughtless things in uncomfortable situations and it doesn’t get much more uncomfortable than death.  I’ve heard many hurtful thoughtless things said to me in times of trial/loss but to put it in balance I have also said stupid things.  The reason I think it’s thoughtless to say it’s God’s will for someone to die is because it makes it sound like God wants us to hurt.  He doesn’t.  He hurts right along with us.  Our sorrow is His as well.  He loves us so much and thinks of each of us with such deep affection that we can’t even fathom that love or thought.  Unfortunately sometimes bad things do happen. And sometimes He has to allow them to happen and while He doesn’t want it to happen He will allow good to come from it.  Suffering is when we grow.  Suffering defines us and tempers us as a hot flame tempers steel.  A good parent will allow a beloved child to “learn things the hard way” from time to time.  Do we love our children less?  No of course not. But in order to grow one must fall periodically.  I have had my share of loss.  I have dealt with things that no child should have to.  I can choose to be angry at God, to be a victim.  Or I can choose to grow and develop into the person I am meant to be.  These are the sufferings that have contributed to who I am now.  I am passionate and empathetic, I am hopeful and joyful.  Who would I be without these sorrows? Probably not me. So my friend I wish I had given you a better answer at the time, but here it is now.