September

So here she is: September a month of fresh beginnings.  Everything starts up again and I've been feeling a bit panicked by it all. I usually welcome September.  I love the smells and feeling of autumn, the crispness, the colours.  The fresh school supplies and curriculum generally excite me.  Not this year.  I'm just tired and feeling overwhelmed by all of the expectations everyone has of me.  I'm not supposed to feel this way.  I'm supposed to be "amazing" because I have six kids AND I homeschool.  I am not amazing.  I am not a saint.  I'm just a mom trying to be the best mom I can and I fall short all of the time. I love my family passionately and enjoy being with them, but it feels like something is going to snap and it might be my sanity. I'm torn between what I think my family needs and what I feel I can actually give. And still I will plug on...